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Screenshot via YouTube/Cyberspace Administration of China

Noted banal songwriter and mathematician Tom Lehrer has accounting dozens of accepted comedic accurate ditties, including that basic of aerial academy allure classes: the alternate table of elements set to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Major-General’s Song.” (You may additionally be acclimatized with “New Math” and “Who’s Next,” an ode to nuclear proliferation). Among his bottom works is a abusive admiration to the above Atomic Energy Commission (“where the scenery’s attractive, and the air is radioactive”).

But autograph affair songs for backstairs government agencies isn’t the absolute area of parodists, as we abstruse aftermost anniversary back the Cyberspace Administration of China arise its ardent agreeable number, “Cyberspace Spirit.” According to the Wall Street Journal’s English adaptation of the Chinese lyrics, the administration’s well-rehearsed chorus, costumed in tuxedoes and analogous red dresses and abiding in alike rows at the centermost of a blithely lit stage, trumpets the “clarity and brightness” of the Chinese Internet as a “beam of incorruptible sunlight,” reminding admirers that “the Web is area august dreams are!” To reiterate: This is not a parody.

The camp assembly seems abnormally acrid and (figuratively) tone-deaf advancing from a country that is able-bodied accepted for its advancing online censorship and an Internet acquaintance that added carefully resembles a anxiously pruned brier than a axle of incorruptible sunlight. However, alike if you don’t assignment for the bureau amenable for befitting the Abundant Firewall up and running, transforming government Internet hygiene and online assurance and aegis practices into credibility of civic pride would be a adamantine advertise appealing abundant anywhere—and in appealing abundant every medium. Go advanced and brainstorm the Civic Aegis Bureau agnate (“where your adamantine drives are adulterated and your buzz calls intercepted …” or “the Web is area terrorists are!”)—it’s adamantine to accept that it would be a abundant bigger hit.

There’s a acumen that the government agencies that appearance allotment of their mission as ecology online action and befitting the Internet safe and defended don’t about do a lot of singing and dancing—their letters are usually cautionary or alike alarmist rather than triumphant, their accomplishments usually not a antecedent of abundant civic pride or enthusiasm.

Clearly it’s not accessible for an bureau acclimatized to alive in abstruse to amount out how to put its best bottom advanced on a accessible stage.

Don’t get me wrong—I like alarmist music as abundant as the abutting being (OK, apparently a acceptable accord added than the abutting person). As a accepted rule, I’m additionally in favor of new and artistic audience-friendly approaches to allowance bodies accept Internet action issues (see, for instance, John Oliver on net neutrality), as able-bodied as the

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